You have been warned.


I couldn't pass up this little bit of fun. He was a jerk to Hilary this week and this is only what he deserves. Like #6.



The Top 10 Reasons Rand Paul should never start a sentence, 'Had I been president ...'
by Mother Mags

#10. Half the audience will laugh so hard they won't hear the rest of your comment.

#9. The other half of the audience will cry so hard your remaining words will be lost in their bawling.

#8. Security will remove you as an outside agitator, perhaps even an anarchist.

#7. Your nitwit tea party followers will have to change their "Rand Paul for Emperor" signs. (They have to change them anyway because they misspelled Emperor.)

#6. Sinners will buy up the world's supply of coats, jackets, and blankets, anticipating hell freezing over.

#5. Michele Bachmann will sue you for "Presidential Batshit Crazy" copyright infringement.

#4. World leaders will set their nuclear missiles on high alert.

#3. Capitol police will immediately perform a breathalyzer test on you.

#2. Stocks will plunge, except for the companies that make "The End is Nigh" signs.

And the #1 reason Rand Paul should never start a sentence, "Had I been president ..."

#1. Forget it, dude, ain't gonna happen.